jiǎnglǐ: 讲理 - To Be Reasonable, To Reason with, Rational

• Keywords: jiangli, jiǎnglǐ, 讲理, Chinese reasonable, Chinese logic, to reason with someone, how to be rational in Chinese, cultural values, HSK 4, argue logically, makes sense, unreasonable in Chinese
• Summary: Learn to use 讲理 (jiǎnglǐ), a fundamental concept in Chinese culture that means “to be reasonable” or “to reason with someone.” This page explores why being a person who can 讲理 is highly valued in Chinese society, how it connects to social harmony and differs from the Western idea of “winning an argument,” and provides practical examples for using it in everyday conversations, from friendly debates to resolving conflicts.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): jiǎnglǐ
• Part of Speech: Verb / Adjective
• HSK Level: HSK 4
• Concise Definition: To reason with someone; to argue based on logic and principle; to be reasonable or rational.
• In a Nutshell: 讲理 is about using logic and appealing to a shared sense of fairness to discuss an issue. It's more than just being factually correct; it's about being socially and logically coherent. A person who can 讲理 is seen as mature, fair, and easy to deal with. Conversely, someone who is `不讲理` (unreasonable) is considered difficult, childish, or even barbaric.

• 讲 (jiǎng): To speak, to explain, to tell. The radical `言 (yán)` on the left means “speech.”
• 理 (lǐ): Reason, logic, principle, truth. The radical `王 (wáng)`, a variant of `玉 (yù)` meaning “jade,” suggests the natural patterns or veins found in jade, which metaphorically represent the underlying principles of the universe.
• Combined Meaning: Together, 讲理 literally means “to speak reason” or “to explain the principles.” This beautifully captures the essence of the word: communicating in a way that is logical, principled, and fair.

In Chinese culture, 讲理 is deeply tied to the concept of social harmony (和谐, héxié). The goal of a discussion or disagreement is often not to prove one person right and the other wrong, but to find a mutually acceptable resolution that allows both parties to maintain a good relationship and “save face” (保住面子, bǎozhù miànzi). A Westerner might try to “reason” by presenting a list of objective facts and evidence in an adversarial debate. While this can also be part of 讲理, the Chinese concept is often broader. It involves appealing to:

• 道理 (dàolǐ): The underlying principle or universal truth that everyone should agree on.
• 人情 (rénqíng): Human feelings and social obligations. What is most “reasonable” might be the solution that best considers the feelings and relationship between the people involved.
• 情理 (qínglǐ): A combination of feeling (情) and reason (理), suggesting a solution that is both emotionally acceptable and logically sound.

Therefore, “being reasonable” in a Chinese context means being logical while also being socially astute and empathetic. Simply shouting facts without considering the context or the other person's feelings would be considered very `不讲理` (unreasonable).

讲理 is a versatile term used in many daily situations.

• As a Positive Trait: Describing someone as `一个讲理的人` (yí ge jiǎnglǐ de rén - a reasonable person) is a significant compliment. It implies they are mature, fair, and trustworthy.
• To Initiate Conflict Resolution: When a disagreement arises, a common way to de-escalate is to say `我们坐下来好好讲讲理` (wǒmen zuò xiàlái hǎohǎo jiǎngjiang lǐ - Let's sit down and reason this out properly).
• To Accuse Someone of Being Irrational: The most common usage might be in the negative. Saying `你怎么这么不讲理？` (Nǐ zěnme zhème bù jiǎnglǐ? - How can you be so unreasonable?) is a powerful way to express frustration with someone's stubbornness or illogical behavior.

• Example 1:
  • 他是一个很讲理的人，你可以跟他谈谈。
  • Pinyin: Tā shì yí ge hěn jiǎnglǐ de rén, nǐ kěyǐ gēn tā tántan.
  • English: He is a very reasonable person; you can go talk to him.
  • Analysis: Here, `讲理` is used as an adjective to describe someone's positive character trait. It suggests he is open to discussion and fair.
• Example 2:
  • 你别生气了，我们坐下来讲理。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ bié shēngqì le, wǒmen zuò xiàlái jiǎnglǐ.
  • English: Don't be angry anymore, let's sit down and reason this out.
  • Analysis: In this sentence, `讲理` is used as a verb. It's a call to move from an emotional state to a logical discussion.
• Example 3:
  • 跟小孩子是没法讲理的。
  • Pinyin: Gēn xiǎo háizi shì méi fǎ jiǎnglǐ de.
  • English: It's impossible to reason with a small child.
  • Analysis: This common saying highlights that `讲理` requires a certain level of maturity and understanding of social norms, which children may lack.
• Example 4:
  • 我只是想跟你讲讲理，你为什么这么激动？
  • Pinyin: Wǒ zhǐshì xiǎng gēn nǐ jiǎngjiang lǐ, nǐ wèishénme zhème jīdòng?
  • English: I just want to reason with you, why are you so agitated?
  • Analysis: The speaker is positioning themselves as the calm, rational one in the conversation, contrasting their attempt to `讲理` with the other person's emotional reaction.
• Example 5:
  • 这个客户完全不讲理，我们的要求明明很合理。
  • Pinyin: Zhè ge kèhù wánquán bù jiǎnglǐ, wǒmen de yāoqiú míngmíng hěn hélǐ.
  • English: This client is completely unreasonable; our demands are clearly very rational.
  • Analysis: This shows the frustration in a business context when one party refuses to engage in a logical, fair negotiation. Note the use of `合理 (hélǐ)` for the demands and `讲理` for the person's behavior.
• Example 6:
  • 你这样做事不讲理，对大家都不公平。
  • Pinyin: Nǐ zhèyàng zuò shì bù jiǎnglǐ, duì dàjiā dōu bù gōngpíng.
  • English: Doing things this way is unreasonable; it's not fair to anyone.
  • Analysis: This links being `不讲理` (unreasonable) directly to the concept of unfairness (不公平).
• Example 7:
  • 秀才遇到兵，有理说不清。
  • Pinyin: Xiùcai yù dào bīng, yǒu lǐ shuō bu qīng.
  • English: When a scholar meets a soldier, reason cannot be explained clearly.
  • Analysis: This famous proverb doesn't use the word `讲理` but perfectly captures its spirit. It means that when faced with brute force or someone who refuses to listen to reason, logic is useless. The “soldier” is the ultimate `不讲理` person.
• Example 8:
  • 别跟我耍赖，有话好好说，咱们讲理不讲力。
  • Pinyin: Bié gēn wǒ shuǎlài, yǒu huà hǎohǎo shuō, zánmen jiǎnglǐ bù jiǎng lì.
  • English: Don't be difficult with me. If you have something to say, say it properly. Let's use reason, not force.
  • Analysis: A powerful phrase that contrasts `讲理` (reason) with `讲力` (force/power). It's an appeal to civilized discussion over coercion.
• Example 9:
  • 他虽然错了，但你那么骂他，也有点不讲理了。
  • Pinyin: Tā suīrán cuò le, dàn nǐ nàme mà tā, yě yǒudiǎn bù jiǎnglǐ le.
  • English: Although he was wrong, for you to scold him like that was also a bit unreasonable.
  • Analysis: This is a perfect example of the cultural nuance. Even if someone is factually wrong, responding in a way that is overly harsh or causes them to lose face is also considered `不讲理`. The method of communication matters as much as the facts.
• Example 10:
  • 凡事都要讲理，不能只凭感觉做事。
  • Pinyin: Fánshì dōu yào jiǎnglǐ, bùnéng zhǐ píng gǎnjué zuòshì.
  • English: In all matters, one must be rational; you can't just act based on feelings.
  • Analysis: This sentence presents `讲理` as a guiding principle for life and decision-making, contrasting it with impulsive, emotion-driven actions.

• False Friend: “Reasonable Price”
  • English speakers often mistakenly use 讲理 to describe prices or conditions. For example, `*这个价格很讲理*` (This price is very reasonable) is INCORRECT.
  • 讲理 describes the behavior or rationality of a person or their argument.
  • For prices, plans, or conditions, you must use 合理 (hélǐ), which means “in accordance with reason” or “rational.”
  • Correct: `这个价格很合理。` (Zhè ge jiàgé hěn hélǐ.) - This price is very reasonable.
• Cultural Pitfall: Facts vs. Harmony
  • A common mistake for Western learners is to believe that “reasoning” (讲理) means presenting an airtight, evidence-based argument to prove they are right. While facts are important, ignoring the social context, the other person's “face” (面子), or the importance of the relationship can make you appear aggressive and, ironically, `不讲理`. True 讲理 balances logic with social intelligence.

• 合理 (hélǐ) - Rational; in accordance with reason. Use this for things like prices, plans, and arrangements, not people's behavior. It is the correct word for “a reasonable price.”
• 道理 (dàolǐ) - Reason; principle; truth. This is the noun that you verb (讲). When you 讲理, you are speaking 道理.
• 蛮不讲理 (mán bù jiǎng lǐ) - A chengyu (idiom) meaning to be completely and savagely unreasonable. This is a very strong antonym.
• 通情达理 (tōng qíng dá lǐ) - A chengyu meaning to be empathetic and reasonable. It's a more formal and praiseworthy way to say someone is very good at 讲理 because they understand both feelings (情) and principles (理).
• 胡闹 (húnào) - To act wildly; to cause trouble without reason. This is a common way to describe the behavior of someone who is 不讲理, especially a child.
• 逻辑 (luójí) - Logic. A direct loanword from English. It refers to the formal, academic system of logic, whereas 讲理 is the practical application of reason in daily life.
• 辩论 (biànlùn) - To debate. This is more formal and adversarial than 讲理, often implying a competition with a winner and a loser, like in a school debate club.
• 面子 (miànzi) - “Face”; social standing and reputation. A successful attempt to 讲理 will always allow all parties to save face.